Littleword的个人资料

今天，我觉得......有点害怕，但是这是我需要为自己做的事。我有一个持续的体重问题，因为我的第二个孩子出生于1993年，没有什么太糟糕，但够糟糕的打扰我。我多年的例行常规率约为每3个月我将获得再使自己失去了30磅。我很头强会去严厉的措施来减肥，甚至贪食。对于14年我经历了这个周期去了。我经历了许多生活的变化就自2006年以来，我的体重在慢慢首先从120磅增加到162磅。这一变化吓了我一跳。因为知道我的身体正被我用的减肥方法危害，我决定去相反的方向，并利用医学界，我做了手术。我意识到，紧接着，“它只是使事情更糟”。 I met a special person that I opened up to and I realized, I wasn't functioning normally. I had completely pulled away from everyone, even my children and burried myself in my computer. Eventually I divorced and began a life with my new best friend. This change caused some of my family members to scold me for not being "the christian I was raised to be". My church pulled away from me, my step children rarely communicate and even one of my own children looks down on me for my decisions I have made. I had always hid the facts from my family/children/church. I always worried what my family and children thought of me, so I tried to live "perfect". I coped with all of the issues from my marriage/death of loved ones/my home burning, alone without drugs or alcohol. I believe these changes caused my weight cycle/smoking habit to change and I increased my smoking to around 2 packs a day. I tried to explain to my family, I just wanted to be happy. I done my duty as a strict christian mother and wife for many years.I raised 6 children to the best of my ability and was always a good example for all of them. At the present time, I have spoken with my parents about 3 times in the past 18 months, my initiation. We recently stored all of our belongings and moved to the lake. This change was the best decision for my family (my fiance, son and me)but my fiance's family thinks I am trying to pull him away from them. So now we are on shaky ground also. About 2 weeks ago I started on the equate nicotin gum, just to cut down on smoking, with no intentions to stop. Within 3 days my smoking was down to 1 or 2 a day. My weight is now 184 lbs and I have major edema issues that started about 2 weeks ago in my legs/feet. I am ready to tackle my weight issue and get on with my life. There is nothing I can do about our families and their misunderstanding of our life changes. I am trying to live with the fact that they do not approve. I have more peace in my life now, than I have ever felt. My fiance has been the best thing for my son and me because he has given my son something he always wanted, a friend/father figure, and given me something I have always wanted, a person that loves me and is my best friend and that makes me happy. My youngest son graduates May 2010. Upon graduation he has his heart set on a 4 yr scholarship for youth pastor. I am so proud of him. Our intentions are to move away and travel for a while after my son leaves for college. No one knows this yet, so we will tackle that bridge with our families, when it gets here. I am ready to move on with my life and be happy. To do that I have to put this weight/smoking issue behind me too. I welcome any suggestions.